So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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