idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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