Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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