I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
These tits shall not be calmed
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
