I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
