i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
