I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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