wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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