His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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