My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
