i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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