Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
