He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
