I've blown a few things in my day
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
