On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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