I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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