Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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