I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
