So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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