awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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