So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
