I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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