She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
