does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
