Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
