I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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