I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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