Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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