It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
