its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
bring money and cleavage
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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