Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize