he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
