The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
