P.S. I can't hear my feet
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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