shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
