My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My ass is underappreciated
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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