I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
