Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
