Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
