How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
