Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
