The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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