so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize