is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he puts the penis in happiness.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Operation Purity has been aborted
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
