hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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