I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize