do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
