This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
