Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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