I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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