problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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