Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
