their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
