Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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