did you get engaged???
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
