Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize