i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
