i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
