be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize