Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
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Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
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Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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