i would punch a child for taco bell
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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