I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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