love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
