in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
